Boys need love too.

It’s a shame that society has – in some ways – taught us that men can’t show emotion; socialisation has taught men that bottling everything up is essentially the only way to keep it moving, which in turn has led to men and boys finding other, unhealthy forms of therapy.  

As I’ve mentioned before, African households are not, (generally speaking), households which are open to conversations surrounding mental health and most definitely not open to conversations surrounding the mental health of black men and boys. From experience and observation, this dismissal of discussion can very often mean that men don’t feel it safe for them to express their feelings towards something or someone without the fear of being judged or criticised for being too ‘sensitive’. I feel as though the Black community are often very quick to dismiss any real conversation about Black men and mental health and a lot of the time I find that incorrect assumptions are made before any progression for conceptualisation – if any progression is even made.

As someone with two black brothers, I really wish for them to be able to talk to someone about what’s going on in their minds and express themselves by any means necessary and do so in such a way that they can feel better and judgement-free after having done so. I don’t have the most serious of relationships with either of them but really and truly from the bottom of my heart, if either of you are reading this, a nigga loves you FORREAL.

We need to unteach ourselves that talking about men’s mental health is “gay” or “soft” because it shouldn’t be this way. Men shouldn’t have to look to a bottle for therapy or develop unhealthy coping mechanisms because society has told us that men seeking help is weak. Granted, attitudes towards men and mental health are positively progressing, however there is still such a long way to go in terms of creating safe environments for men to get the help that they need.

This is just a polite reminder to check on your bredrins and to let yourself feel how you feel. You don’t have to hold it down all the time.