Protecting your mental

The parents of Black millennials and Black Gen Z’s are usually parents who apply traditional African culture to all aspects of the home. With tradition constantly being applied, the topics of mental health and perhaps more contemporary topics of discussion may be viewed as taboo and may not be given the same reception as more favourable topics like finding a husband or a good traditional girl.  

I think the narrative of hypersensitivity and the negative connotations which comes with it can sometimes blur the line of when someone is joking in retrospect to when they’re being disrespectful. We once lived in a time when it wasn’t deemed as derogatory to call homosexuals the f word, nor was it considered overly racist to do blackface on national television. The SJW’s of the world have rubbed people the wrong way which has led to Gen Z’s and millennials being labelled as the ‘snowflake generation’ and said generations not being able to ‘take a joke’. The reality of it is that we’ve been exposed to a lot more than our parents in terms of social media and we are a lot more hyperaware of what could potentially trigger someone and what is deemed more socially acceptable in comparison to other things.

That being said, traditional Black and Brown cultures can be viewed to not be familiar with what they might view as taboo topics e.g. Mental health, sexual assault, and much more. Traditional cultures in many ways don’t leave a lot of room for sensitivity, emotion, or even vulnerability, so when topics which are as sensitive as the aforementioned are brought up, the conversation has ended before it’s even started. Sometimes I feel like nobody is to blame for that because it’s not a reality our parents have been accustomed to and therefore there is a strong lack of understanding. However, I do feel like as a parent an attempt to try to understand and or compassion can go a long way.

Sometimes you just want to feel like someone is listening to you and sometimes your parents are the only ones you want to listen to you, but more time it’s easier said than done. From experience, I often find that older relatives from Black and Brown communities don’t understand what it is you’re ‘depressed’ about and or sometimes your mental illness comes across as you being ungrateful for the life that you have because of the way that they grew up in comparison, but those comparisons don’t do anything for anyone. I feel some aspects of traditional views of men and women haven’t changed in terms of the way men and women are held at different standards in terms of emotion. Men and boys are still expected to hold it down and more time holding it down means man up when shit gets tough but sometimes play your slow jams and cry if you need to.  

Please note this is more of a generalisation as opposed to a reflective representation and if anyone reading this is struggling, you are more than welcome to message me on Instagram, @linddube and or via this blogpost. If you don’t want to speak to me then there is a list of services which are displayed below:

Samaritans – 0845 790 9090

Anxiety UK – 03444 775 774

CALM – 0800 58 58 58

Men’s Health Forum – www.menshealthforum.org.uk

 

Don’t let anyone tell you how you to feel, and check on your bredrins.